Eyes open, awake for the very first time

I know who I am,

And who I want to be.

I value will power, hard work, self respect, self love, confidence, beauty, quiet.

I recognize that I don't need to dump every aspect of who I am onto my friends. They don't need to know anything, really. And there's so much freedom in this fact. Previously I was convinced no one would like me unless they knew who I was and why I behaved the way that I do. But that's not true at all. Holding back creates mystery and beauty.

Not to mention I need to get better at keeping secrets.

I value sobriety. I wonder how long I can make it through December without drinking so much that I get a hangover. I wonder how it will affect my relationship with mason. I wonder if I can influence mark.

I also value a fit body. I almost value thinness more than anything else. And so I need to keep up with my minimal drinking, my pescatarian diet, no listen. And stick to vegan desserts.

I value cleanliness and organization.
I value following through and doing what you plan.

Who do I want to be? I want to be beautiful inside and out. I want to live happily, despite the mistakes Amy makes. I want to completely not care about most people and their opinions of me. Ultimately masons is all that j care about. It's okay that people are no longer in my life.

I have fantastic clothes, a pretty face, a great car, great apartment, job. I love my tattoo, I love my hair, I love my friends, my coworkers, my friends, my family, my boyfriend.

I am so blessed. I appreciate this and love myself, unconditionally, for who I am.